Confessions Of A Broken Doll

Building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold

I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me

You're not the one to place the blame
As bottles called my name

I won't see you tonight

-I Won't See You Tonight Part 1, Avenged Sevenfold

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

I seem to be going a little blog crazy today. Either that or time is going much faster than you thought.

So, a confession. For most people this would be interesting. For me it's just going to be depressing. But that is what this blog is about so I guess that's okay.

1. You know all those stupid things I've done? Possibly not actually. I'm referring to specific stupid things this time. Such as the excessive amount of three different kinds of painkillers before school, the self-harm, the solo nighttime wanderings, the hanging out in the middle of the road... Well I obviously wasn't actively trying to kill myself, but I was hoping like hell I would accidentally. I'd like to say that my friends are what keep me going or something, but that wouldn't be true. If I wasn't too much of a wuss to try, I'm not sure I'd still be here. I've been doing a whole lot better for the last year or so, but that doesn't mean I'm okay exactly. I still have blades hidden around my room, and I'm not sure if I'll ever give them up willingly.

Well that was a cheerful end to these blogs.

Stay tuned for more Pathetic Tales From A Broken Doll.

xx

:o

I’ve fallen down

And I’ll rise above this

Rise above this doubt

-Rise Above This, Seether

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

This should be easy.

1. :)

2. :(

There, that's not confusing at all.

Stay tuned for more Pathetic Tales From A Broken Doll.

xx

Distraction

I like the way you abuse my mind
Abuse me all the time

Paranoid your gonna leave me behind

-Joyride, Rooster

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Well this one could be taken two ways, the PG way, and the R way. Because I'm really bored today I'm going to do both. Which means 99% of people who read this will want to stop reading halfway, 'cause I'm seriously twisted.

So, here's the PG list.

1. Eyes, I really like eyes. Preferably of the green/brown variety, blue eyes tend to scare me for some bizarre reason. I can't resist big puppy-dog eyes.

2. Makeup on guys, providing it suits them. It don't know if it's the pathetic little fan-girl in me, or the fact that it makes them look somewhat girly (for want of a better word, a much better word), but it's yummy.

3. Attention. Just like I said for Day 3. I don't care what you look like or anything, if you hang out with me and talk to me I'm much more likely to like you :)

Okay, that was the not-creepy section of the blog. You probably want to stop reading now.

You have been warned.

1. Pain. Not all kinds, obviously, 'cause I'm still a wimp. But biting, especially on the neck, and cutting. It makes my mind shut up.

2. Blood. It's so pretty and yummy. And comes with pain. I'm much better than I used to be though, I used to get a little creepy when someone started bleeding in front of me. Like when I first met Emz and she cut her hand open, I had to go chew on a spoon to stop myself drooling.

3. Being tied up. Which is really stupid, 'cause I hate not being able to escape in any other situation. It's like alcohol, forces me to relax, kinda.

Too much information? Yea, I thought so. I did tell you to stop reading.

Stay tuned for more Pathetic Tales From A Broken Doll. Or not, 'cause I'm a freak.

xx

Things That Make Me Go Ew

Don't get in my face
Don't invade my space
I'll put you in your place
I'll only tell you once
I'll never tell you twice
And this is me being nice

-Gasoline, Porcelain And The Tramps

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

I have no idea. This could take awhile.

1. Guys who think that telling me how hot my friends are is a good way to get me to like them. Sounds stupid, but it's been done.

2. Stalkers. If I tell you to back off, I mean it. It's not something I say often. Don't continue to text and call me for months after I stop replying, it's creepy, and next time it happens I plan to do something about it.

3. Games. I'm confused enough already, and I have a natural tendency to assume people don't like me unless they make it stupidly clear. Continuously. Seriously, I'm paranoid.

4. People who throw themselves at me. Especially when they're teenage girls. That just tells me that you're a slut with bad taste :P

These blogs are getting short. I may write another one. Just 'cause I don't wanna study.

Stay tuned for more Pathetic Tales From A Broken Doll.

xx

You Know What? Just Don't Read This One

Sometimes I'm a selfish fake

You're always a true friend

And I don't deserve you

'Cause I'm not there for you

Though I wish I would be

-There For You, Flyleaf

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

Totally reusing a song, 'cause I have to leave in three minutes :P

FIVE!! Only five?! These numbers are getting small. I always hated having to choose only a few people to mention, like for your 'Top 10' on MySpace and Bebo. I always changed it to 'Top 2' and just had Devon and Kimmy there.

1. Devon. Of course.

2. Ali. She gives me girl time, and makes me pretty for parties :)

3. Hailz. She makes sense out of craziness, like maths.

4. Lincoln. He occasionally stops being a dick for long enough to give me a hug when I need it.

5. Alex. That's not too weird/scary is it? I think it is, but there's no one else who can be mentioned singularly... He is much too nice to me.

Seriously, five. That's a horrible number. I'm liking this 10 Day thing less and less, lol.

Stay tuned for more Pathetic Tales From A Broken Doll.

xx

More Mistakes

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone
Or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret; hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Who has to know?

-Dirty Little Secret, All-American Rejects

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten: One confession.

 There are many things I wish I'd never done, however there aren't many I particularly want to bring up :/ Remind me why I decided to do this again?

1. Vodka and Lift. That is a combination that never ends well.

2. Cheated. Obviously.

3. Unblocked 'All Others' on MSN.

4. Grown up. It's over-rated.

5. Left things 'til the last minute.

6. Lied about various things.

There, that wasn't vague at all :) At least two people who read this know many of my stupid mistakes anyway of course.

Stay tuned for more Pathetic Tales From A Broken Doll.

xx