Eh

Pain
Without love
Pain
I can't get enough
Pain
I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
-Pain, Three Days Grace


I'm sinking again. And I'm too scared to ask for help.


What if there's nothing wrong with me, and I'm just pathetic? What if there is something wrong with me that can't be fixed? What if there is something wrong with me that can be fixed, but it changes me into something I don't like?


Besides, I hate counseling. I'm no good at talking to people. I can't help but feel like they're judging me, so I lie. I'd rather not have to struggle to explain why I do/feel things for no logical reason. Because they're forever asking why, and I don't know why.


I seem to be scared more too, I randomly start panicking and I can only attribute it to the crowds or my workload. I've been twitching more often too, but at least I don't whimper randomly any more. That was just weird. It's a little hard to function in the real world when all I want to do is curl up in a ball or run away.


I thought I was doing so well. I was actually happy for the first time in I don't even know how long. But no, I'm back to this. Oh well, I dealt with it before, I can do it again. It's really screwing with my Uni work though.


Stay tuned for more Pathetic Tales From A Broken Doll.


xx